Current mood:	recumbent
Entry tags:	fraud

Fraud: Right of Passage

When I was twenty years old I realized that I had no idea who I was. When I looked back at my actions and choices, I realized that I had no idea what my motivations were at the time I made them. Years later, I was discovering that I was a much different person than who I, and others, knew. I was a fraud.

What's worse is that I was afraid to change or reveal this new knowledge to anyone who had known me, even for a very short period of time. I was afraid that if people discovered the real me, who's unkown motivations were hardly pure, that they would hate me. And why shouldn't they? I hated myself.

But the thoughts nagged at me. I could not help analyzing myself. The more I discovered, the more I wanted to break free of the facad and become myself... the person that I didn't even know. I decided to go on a 'journey' of sorts, to rediscover who I was. I would reveal the secrets and start again. I would put a word to who I was.

There is an old Native American custom that required a young man to go out into the world on his own and discover himself. This is called a Right of Passage ceremony, or journey.

This is the start of mine.