There is a whole list of courses for the dead to take to learn how to be exactly what they were. Andrew had been dead for a few years, and was just now completing his requirements. He explained his relationship to me as something along the lines of a “senior thesis.” As a final demonstration of what they’ve learned, the dead must help another to understand their own death.

( Unfortunately for Andrew, my case was not a simple one. )

Scientists say that from the moment we are born, we begin to die. I can’t deny that it’s true, although I’d modify the words a bit. When an infant is born into the world, he already has a handful of tasks to accomplish: learn to make demands through cries and whimpers, learn to crawl, learn to walk, learn to talk, learn to use the potty, learn how to manipulate mommy into giving attention just because. It’s daunting, and takes several years to learn those things. When a person dies an infant, they have the most difficult time transitioning into death because they have such a minute library to fall back on. From the moment we are born, we are preparing ourselves for death. This is where the opinion of the dead differs from that of earthly scientists. Death is much easier for the elderly, because they’ve had the longest time to prepare for the transition. Sure, some people waste their earthly time and don’t worry about it, but that is not always the case. I’ve been told that a man who lived to be a hundred in five died and did not need to take a single class on death. Or at least, that’s what they like to tell us freshmen to get our asses in gear. There’s really not a lot of time to waste once you’ve died.

( My pick up was a man named Andrew, and he was late.  )

Can you imagine a world without color? Can you imagine a place with no sound – not even an echo? Can you imagine what it would be like not to feel your feet touch the ground as you walk? Can you imagine how it would feel to be nothing at all – just a chasm of blankness where life used to be? That is what it is like to be dead.

( When I woke up I saw white. )